Ad Hudler - Ad Libbing

Carnage in the garage
Monday, December 14, 2009

One of my favorite novelists also happens to be one of my favorite friends, so when this person (Kristy Kiernan) announced on facebook that she was moving to a new home I offered my back and pickup for help.

One problem: New toolbox on the truck. Limited view while backing up. Yep, you guessed it. After about five trips, we were backing into the garage when we suddenly heard an awful sound ... a crash, actually. Glass breaking, no EXPLODING! The crunch and pop of metal under tires. The moment sounded like a symphony of cymbals.

I had backed into their FIVE FLOOR LAMPS and ruined all but one ... just felled them like trees, with my bumper, and then ran right over them.

Now, my first reaction was to jump into my truck, peel away and never call her again. Here's why: Her husband is an art dealer, and I assumed immediately these lamps were, well, masterpieces of some kind ... and I truly thought I had ruined tens of thousands of dollars worth of artstuff. "Oh, my God!" I kept saying. "I'm so, so sorry! "Oh, my God, just LOOK what I've done!"

Good news: I then discovered they'd bought the lamps at Home Depot and Rooms to Go.

Still, I felt bad ... until three hours later, when I realized that THE TWO-HOUR MOVE THAT KRISTY HAD PROMISED HAD SOMEHOW SWOLLEN INTO A FIVE-HOUR ORDEAL!

Lesson learned: Always question a fiction writer's grasp of reality (especially, when she says "Oh, it's just a few boxes and a bed.")

SHOUTOUT: Seriously, Kristy, thanks for being so forgiving, and your husband is my new BFF. Also, how did you know I was a masochist? Had we talked about that?

3 Comments:

Kristy Kiernan said...: You were a Moving God, Ad. A Lamp Killer, yes, but considering the amount of work you did, both Dutch and I feel we got off pretty cheap. We can't thank you enough. (And in my defense of my time estimate, another friend [and her boyfriend and truck] was supposed to be there! AND, we were only going to keep you for the furniture, not all the boxes!)

You're the best. Many dinners coming your way!; December 18, 2009 2:56 PM
Ad Hudler said...: Note to wife: For Christmas I want two T-shirts: One will say, "Lamp Killer" Another will say "Moving God."; December 18, 2009 4:18 PM
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