Ad Hudler - Ad Libbing

More on the white-trash-family-from-hell that has moved onto my block ...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009

If you didn't catch Chapter One of this saga, click here. Now ... on to Chapter Two.

The darling little boys -- and it's the chubby blond one that is the truly evil child -- seem to have been banned from their go-cart-jeep-thingy. Some neighbors told me it was shut up in the garage after they were caught trying to run down a pedestrian on the street.

Also ... apparently the family has two killer dogs that run loose on the street. Two people have watched these dogs maul their cats to death. The father apparently told someone, upon moving into the neighborhood, "I sure hope you don't have any little dogs or cats 'cause these dogs are killers." Rumor has it that charges are pending.

Mom is a beauty-school student somewhere. Dad is an unemployed AC repairman. The kids, as I've said, are feral and still in the mindset that my waterfront backyard is their playground.

But ... my nice new 5-foot aluminum fence is being installed on Friday. I wanted a six-foot fence; my wife wanted four-foot, so we compromised. The fence guy said, "They'll jump a four-foot fence."

'Makes them sound like wild animals.

Hmmm ... indeed. Reminds me of an old Dr. Seuss book called, "Put me in the Zoo."

10 Comments:

Josephine Bennett said...: I like the term, "free range children." Are they renting?; August 12, 2009 7:47 AM
Ad Hudler said...: Of COURSE they're renting!; August 12, 2009 9:36 AM
Scott said...: We had a neighborhood boy (let's call him Tapeworm because he was always itching, stratching and picking) who used to show up at any any all social gatherings we had. Tapewrom woudl just come over, help himself to a handful or nuts or chips, maybe grab a soda, then pick up various sticks and start pruning my shrubs.

Once we had a pool put in, he mysteriously stopped coming around. Now, he's quite reformed an well-mannered. Kill the boys with kindness, Ad.; August 12, 2009 10:09 AM
Scott said...: My apologies for the atrocious typos. Yuck!; August 12, 2009 10:24 AM
Ad Hudler said...: Scott: Yes, I noticed the typos. You know the rules, buddy: NO COCKTAILS BEFORE 10:30 a.m.!!

And I did try kindness at first, which didn't work. Positive reinforcement only works with people from proper breeding. We're dealing with the type of people here who yell "I SAID SHUT IT!" to their kids at Walmart.; August 12, 2009 11:13 AM
Karen said...: 5 foot is good, but what about still putting the electric fence on top...Jumping it will then be much more difficult!; August 12, 2009 11:19 AM
Scott said...: I like Karen's idea, but, it may be just as effective to have a sign that says "Caution - Electric Fence" even though not actually electric.

Barring that, a nice coiled barb-wire topper would work, too.; August 12, 2009 1:02 PM
Anonymous said...: Well, I think you should get a bunch of those pythons with which Florida is being ovberrun and put them in a deep pit on the front side of the fence.
Or buy an alligator.; August 12, 2009 6:06 PM
Anonymous said...: Sorry about that "ovberrun" but I don't type so well when contemplating pythons.; August 12, 2009 6:44 PM
Anonymous said...: Perfectly understandable, Anonymous....and, folks, a friend of mine said my entry today was "edgy".....but I tell you, desperate situations call for desperate measures. If I sound like I'm being judgmental....I AM!!!!!!!!!!
-Ad; August 12, 2009 10:14 PM