“The ramblings and grumblings of author Ad Hudler”

Trouble at the end of Coconut Drive
Thursday, May 28, 2009

I've been fence-shopping. There are two new families with young boys who have moved onto the street, and the younguns are ... well ... gosh, how can I delicately put this ...

"THEY'RE SPOILED LITTLE BRATS FROM HELL WHO HAVE NO RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLES' PROPERTY."

These little farts have even taken to riding their mini-golfcart-jeep-thingy through my back yard, along the seawall ... fishing off my seawall ... helping themselves to my patio furniture ... throwing my rocks (used for fill against the seawall) into the water.

At first I was nice and firm: "Boys, you'll have to leave this yard. This is private property. There's no curtains in those waterfront windows, as you can see, and I surely don't want you to see me in my underwear."

They returned.

I then got all scary on them and yelled real loud, wearing my wife-beater and my boots ... and it worked ... for awhile.

But "Yes, sir." has evolved into "Fuck you!"

So the fence is going up.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why don't you wait until they get down there on that jeep-thing and call the cops on them? If they're under age and operating a motorized vehicle on a city street, they're more than likely violating the law. What sort of idiots give kids that kind of vehicle to drive, anyway? Arrrrgh!
Good luck with the fence, but I'd still consider the cops. :)

May 28, 2009 7:18 PM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

In case you haven't noticed, there is an EPIDEMIC OF IDIOT PARENTING out there. Too many parents are too worried about being their kids' friends, so the kids have no authority figures in their lives.

RE: the golf cart. I'm not sure why, but in my part of the world (The historic neighborhood of Fort Myers, Florida) kids are allowed golf carts, and they even drive them on city streets and sidewalks, and the police do nothing about it. I think it's something that's been done by Old Fort Myers families forever ... a tradition tied to the fact that there is a historic golf course in the neighborhood. It's pretty cool, really ... as long as they DRIVE WITH COURTESY AND RESPECT!

May 29, 2009 8:48 AM  
Blogger Kathy Grey said...

PVC fences last longest.

May 29, 2009 10:37 AM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

Thanks, Kathy ... but the city of Fort Myers, I'm discovering, has LOADS of rules for fences in the front yard. In order to get one high enough and close enough to the water, it has to be a certain kind so as not to block peoples' views of the water. I'm looking at aluminum decorative fences, but they're bloody expensive!

May 29, 2009 10:45 AM  
Anonymous Scitt said...

How about a string of barbed-wire?

May 29, 2009 12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps a set of Bamboo plants to bookend your waterscape view...
a running Phyllostachys or a clumping Bambusa should do nicely.

May 30, 2009 10:40 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Fodder for your next book?

I just finished All This Belongs to Me & I'm ready for the next one ;-)

May 30, 2009 11:05 AM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

Kelly: Glad you liked "All This"....I'm working as fast as I can.

Anonymous: I like bamboo, but I don't think it would do bodily harm to the younguns, and I wish to do them bodily harm.

May 30, 2009 7:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am thinking an electric fence would be just the thing for the little darlings.

June 6, 2009 1:55 PM  
Anonymous Kate said...

They must be cousins of the 5 next door who drive their car thingy in the road and don't move when there is a car coming. And they call me a bitch when I drive right up to their little car or bike that is parked in the middle of _my_ driveway.
Poster children for birth control.

August 17, 2009 6:06 PM  
Blogger Ad Hudler said...

Hit them, Kate. Run them over. Darwin's ghost will smile upon you:
"Oh, I'm sorry I hit them....but REALLY they shouldn't have been on MY PROPERTY!!!!".

August 17, 2009 7:45 PM  
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