Ad Hudler - Ad Libbing

Well, hello, Dolly!
Thursday, February 5, 2009

This from my hometown newspaper, The News-Press, in sunny southwest Florida:

"A Cape Coral man was arrested Wednesday after he allegedly was found engaging in distasteful acts with 'at least one blow-up doll' in a car in the parking lot of a Publix."

Unfortunately, there were no other details provided, so the cogs are definitely rolling in my fiction-writer's mind:

At LEAST one blow-up doll?
Male or female? ... hermaphrodite?
Did they have names? Bend-over Brittany, maybe? Or Tasty Tiffany?

I already have dreamed up his defense as well: He keeps these dolls in the back seat for when he wants to drive in the less-crowded carpool-only lanes on the freeway. ..."And, officer, I was just fixing a leak in one of them, I promise. That's all I was doing."

2 Comments:

Kathy Grey said...: So much to say on this one!

First, I know Haley's friends must read your blog and are reading this. Leave it to good ol' Ad to grow-up a host of young'ns in one blog entry.

Next, according to news-press.com, the authoritative voice for whatever the hell happens here in SWFL, the man made some kind of excuse about buying clothes for the "dolls." The newsroom was abuzz: "Do they NEED clothes?" asks Sam C. "Of course," I reply. and quickly understand that I've discovered a new niche, with the proviso that those who embrace the new concept know how to sew on the bias. A necessary skill, as Dolly's wardrobe must all be of stretch knit for easy application and removal. ("Easy" being the operative word.)

And finally, are you joining us for lunch tomorrow or not?; February 5, 2009 7:33 PM
Ad Hudler said...: "Sewing on the Bias"....sounds like a good book title to me!; February 6, 2009 9:25 AM